marriage is kinda weird though because it’s like ‘i love you, lets get the law involved so you can’t leave”
old ass ppl talk shit about my generation until they accidentally disable their wifi and cant figure out how to turn it back on
then im suddenly the mastermind of information & resources
whenever i get low on money i start thinking really irrationally like what if i hadn’t spent that $10 back in 2004
the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu
Blood is thicker than waterThe blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.
do you ever just start thinking about sex and zone out for a couple of seconds and stare into space and then you come back and you’re like ah shit i hope no one realised i was thinking about sex just now
#disappointed glare at my boner for giving everything away
i saw a baby with a shirt on that said “Santa doesn’t exist but its okay because i can’t read yet”
me: *eats cookie dough*
some weak ass person: “you’ll get salmonella poisoning!!!”
i bet at the abc family headquarters just has a big red button on a wall labeled “harry potter marathon” in big letters
And there’s a sign next to it that says “It has been  days since our last harry potter marathon”
The higher that number is, the more uneasy the employees feel.